Does life need to be perfect for us to be truly happy..?

 

 

Hedonic adaptation is defined as people’s general tendency to return to a set level of happiness despite life’s ups and downs. We set goals to aspire to, and believe that when we get there we will finally be truly happy. Until then we put up with the daily grind, telling ourselves it will be better when we reach the goal, whether that is fitting in to them old jeans or reaching that 'perfect' weight. However, the truth is if you are not truly happy as you are in whatever circumstance it is that you are in, it is unlikely you will be truly happy despite the goals you achieve.

As humans, we are very good at adaptation. The theory of hedonic adaptation is that no matter what the circumstance you find yourself, that is positive or negative, you will eventually adapt back you your set point of happiness. So, if like many people I have come across in the gym, you are telling yourself that you can start living the happy healthy lifestyle you desire once your body is up to ideal social standards, but until then you must suffer with strict dieting and spending hours on the treadmill to shift the pounds. But, it’s ok because only 10 more lbs and you will be living the life of your dreams!

Importantly, according to Sonja Lyubomirsky our goals and own influence on life will only account for 40% of our happiness, whilst 50% is down to genetics and only 10% attributable to our circumstances! Furthermore, research shows that once we have enough to support our basic needs and wellbeing, like food, shelter, social support etc. Our happiness doesn’t significantly increase the more we have on top of this. For example, someone who wins the lottery will be happy at first, but they will soon adapt to that lifestyle and the expectations they have of life will be higher and they will be back on the treadmill of needing more to feel fulfilled. The reverse of this is also true. Someone who loses things they have adapted to, say a nice car, at first will be unhappy, but soon they will adapt to life without it and go back to their previous state of happiness.

 

 

In relation to our general health and wellbeing, when setting new health and fitness goals or attempting to adopt new health behaviours, I often see people being too hard on themselves. They set an unachievable goal that has usually been influenced by diet culture, like getting a six pack in a few weeks with the help of some supposedly amazing endorsed supplements. They attempt to change themselves and their behaviours with a lot of pressure and an all or nothing attitude, which unfortunately sets them up to fail. However, I truly believe that if people were not so hard on themselves, accepted the way they are and instead of focusing on the unattainable goals, focused on the small health choices made every day, they would be much more likely to success in attaining better overall health.

So, the key to true happiness is to get off the hedonic treadmill. Instead of chasing desires and believing that’s how you can achieve happiness, whether that is goals of success, money, career progression, respect from society or beauty. If you are not happy or satisfied as you are right now, chances are you won’t be much happier once you have achieved whatever it was you believed would bring you happiness. It’s important to be mindful every day and learn to appreciate the little things you experience that bring small joys. Enjoy the good things and be grateful for what you have and who you are right now. Change your negative beliefs, and be more optimistic. Having goals are important, but don’t get too caught up in the end game, stop and appreciate the view at every point in the climb up the mountain to your goals. Slow down and appreciate life along the way. Because realistically, you are never going to reach the top of the mountain, there will always be more to climb.